I have a messed up family. One time I sat down and figured out that in the four generations of my family currently alive, only one person talks to every other person.

Most of these are for really good reasons.

Which is why I didn't need to receive a call today from someone in a lawyers office raining down judgement on all of us.

Look, ma'am. You don't know me. You don't know that my grandfather sexually abused my mother, causing her years of damage and probably leading to her choosing and marrying an abusive husband who was emotionally and physically beat her and her kids.

My grandfather is dying. It is hard to write that. He is moving into a nursing home and I live very, very far away.

So I don't need calls from some judgmental asshole from a law office I've never heard of talking about how we need to have appoint a guardian for him and how now is the time when "we decide to put the past behind us" and for a "family member to step up". My mother is already working through every issue she has and more and is planning to attend the guardianship hearing. Her brother is coming with her for moral support (and because he is an attorney).

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So to hell with you. I don't know why it is your place to start calling random family members to try to get them to come. Or why it is your place to throw a guilt trip on the grandchildren who are 1000s of miles away to try to pick up and be a guardian. To give lectures. You see an old, sad man. My mother sees a person who irreparably hurt her and damaged her. And yet she still is able to muster super human strength to come and see him treated decently.

And you have the gall to judge, and to say this is not enough.

You have no idea of the strength that is needed to be this. And I hope you never do. But I hope you at least shut the fuck up about it.