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Note there are three options here, but an overlap of actors is acceptable as there are only so many actors. If you can only think of one, that’s okay too. Bonus points for citing other actors who play supporting roles.

Edit for clarity: If the actor looks like you that’s great, but remember they don’t absolutely have to look like you because, LOL, when has that ever stopped Hollywood? But bonus points if your star can bravely temporarily modify their appearance, because the Academy loves that shit.

1. The major motion picture that breaks the box office on opening weekend and gets nominated for all the Academy Awards.

2. The indie film that got accolades at its brief screenings at a handful of film festivals but barely made back its production costs, that hipsters say “Oh, I heard that was really good and X is in it, is it on Netflix yet?”

3. The trashy TV movie by Lifetime or similar, that doesn’t get many of the facts right and one of the Jezebel writers liveblogs the broadcast.

I would like to be played by Sandra Oh. There would be a lot of huffing and puffing in the blogosphere about whether her casting is problematic on grounds of nationality, ethnicity (“An authentic Australian should be doing it!” “Is she the right kind of Asian??” etc.) She would have a dialogue coach to assist her with the Australian accent, and it would be Meryl “A dingow’s got mai bayh-bee!” Streep all over again.


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