So I finally stopped crying after an hour and a half. Mr. Haa is sitting across from me on the bed cuz he doesn't want to leave me. He's been crying too. I said some upsetting things about how I was feeling and he's worried for me. You guys he really doesn't deserve to be dealing with this and I feel terrible that he chose to procreate with me.

The thing is I'm just so depressed that I can't even bring myself to try some of the positive suggestions my therapist gave me. I just don't care. And then I feel guilty. And then I cry more because god I'm a terrible selfish person. And then I have brief moments of clarity where I know this is bullshit and I'm just hormonally unbalanced. But then don't care. What do I do?