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Why do I OKC?

Can someone please tell me why? Because I seriously can't figure it out. I don't particularly want to date right now. I pretty much hate everyone on that site. I'm not even that horny, and I'm not particularly lonely.

Yet, I am back on, and I paid $20 for the extra access pass, because it actually improves the experience, as much as something like that can be improved. Do I just want to punish myself? Do I need something to get mad about? Have I decided that I like psychically banging my head against a brick wall over and over again?

In short...help me. I don't get myself.

ETA: This has been a weird dude weekend. Yesterday I ran into a one-night stand from a few years ago at the train station. He got that "hey I know you" look and I kept moving. Fast. Then today, I got a message from a guy I had a very short fling with in college. This was 20 years ago. He still lives in our college town. He was creepy and manipulative back then and it freaked me out. It didn't seem like he recognized me, although we have mutual friends on facebook so maybe he was playing dumb.


Regardless, head meet wall.

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