“Am I the only one who. . .” comments are usually bogus, but this has absolutely stumped me through so many articles, comments, and scare pieces on “avocado hand”: Is my family the only group of people on the internet that pits avocados by gently squeezing the half with the pit in it?

Seriously. I don’t understand why this doesn’t appear to be common. The pit pops right out, and I’ve been doing this since . . . as long as I was big enough to hold a knife to halve the avocado at least. Why are people swinging cleavers in the direction of the palm of their hands? Why are they using knives at all? What ripe avocado requires prying the pit out?

I understand that not everybody has avocados hanging over the next-door neighbor’s fence, but now living in a country where avocados are exotic imports rather than staples, those difficult-to-ripen imported avocados still have pits that just pop right out no problem as long as they’re ripe enough to eat.

Why are people swinging blades at their hands?

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/rant