What is it about us? Why are we all broken?
Last night I got a phone call from my aunt. She was drunk, or high on prescription pain meds, or both. She was slurring her words. She told me she was really, really worried about my mom. And, well, with good reason. Yesterday my mom sent me a text reading, "Dad just froze me in my tracks by saying he could see why [a man] would hit or kill [his wife] who had kicked them out of the bedroom. He says he wouldn't be that way because he is saved." And of course I was like WHAT THE FUCK IF HE TOUCHES YOU I WILL FUCKING DESTROY HIM. But ultimately I can't do anything for her until she's brave enough to take that first step and leave. Anyway my aunt apparently received the same text, and she was sobbing to me on the phone telling me about all the horrible things that have happened to her in her life and how she doesn't want that to happen to her sister. Raped by a stranger. Abused by three husbands. Death threats. Knives and loaded guns held to her head. Broken bones, fractured bones, scars. My god.
And my little sister is now officially dating that douchebag I mentioned before, the one who is 20 years older than her with a son 2 years younger than her that's in prison and won't speak to his father because of the way his father treated his younger brother. The one who is known as abusive throughout the community and yet somehow it's okay because he's a Christian. This scumbag called my mom last weekend and called her a bunch of horrible names and told her she doesn't love her children. And my mom loves us more than anything in the world. I can't help my sister; she won't listen to me because of our religious differences. And I am terrified for her. In that community she will most likely be engaged before the year's out.
Why has this happened to us and why can't I help those I love? And how was I so fortunate as to escape the cycle of abuse? I know these questions have no answers. I am just sad for my family.