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Why I am secretly crying in the office

Step 1: Feel unsatisfied and underpaid in job, send out lots of CVs.

Step 2: Think about the future and ask employer to sponsor a Chartered Institute of Marketing course.


Step 3: Find one for £390, employer agrees to pay, get very excited. Finally feel positive for the future, even if it means having to stay at current company for another year and be paid peanuts.

Step 4: Turn down several interview offers, explaining that you’re now being sponsored to undergo professional training. Feel particularly bad about turning down an interview at a large company offering lots more money.


Step 5: Fill out application form, sponsorship form, wait a month until enrollment. Get very excited and buy lots of marketing books.

Step 6: Discover during enrollment that advertised fees were actually “additional fees”, and course cost is actually £1,400.


Step 7: Company can’t/won’t pay.

Step 8: Think about the interviews and opportunities turned down.

Step 9: Cry in toilets.

Step 10: Continue to secretly cry at computer.

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