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Why I didn't go to book club for real

Honestly, it would've been a little triggery. I think I included that in my post yesterday. I know these girls through my ex, and at least a couple of them see him regularly, and though I am not upset about the end of the relationship, I just can't do the mutual friends thing like some others can. Even if they're not good friends, and I'm doing fine, the thought of being around that group reminded me, "hey, they all get together for NYE/weekend stuff and I can't go because he's there." Then I spiral into how selfish he was and...boom, there we go, sneaky hate spiral of wanting to stay in the house. Which I did.

Besides that, this is the friend who invited me and I just can't with her guy stuff right now. I even invited her to the movies with me & my mom (who she has said she wants to meet) and she instead invited herself to drink with a guy she's slept with a few times. I mean, whatever, everyone is autonomous, but her whining and dependence on men is draining to the max.

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Tomorrow: new writing class, potential new friends, more distraction. Also, I'm texting with a cute boy who visits town every now and then but doesn't live here, which would be a PERF arrangement for me at the mome.

TL;DR, please justify all the time I spend alone reading in my house with my pets rather than hanging out with people who remind me of latest failed relationship.

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