Today we had to go to the ER for some tests due to chest pain, and I made some poor EKG man very uncomfortable.
I came into the EKG room with my mom, because I've seen much worse than her boobs. When the man went to put on the electrodes, he told my mom to "take this arm out, aaaand take this boob out. Actually, take both of them out." Once she took them out, he said "Oh, you have a nice tan." As soon as I heard "nice" and a word starting with "t", my mind went...completely other places. So then I informed him of this (of course, because it's me), and he had to stop putting electrodes on because he was doubled over from laughing too hard. When he was done he said "Okay, you can put your tan away."
I am not an appropriate person to bring on hospital visits.