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Why is it that children...

...keep trying to grab me in inappropriate places? The six year old boy I nanny is in a phase of finding butts hilarious, which I guess is probably pretty normal. His best joke so far is “(Bunnies), your butt!” That’s literally the whole joke.

This is usually the extent of it, except today he was slapping his little brother’s butt, and when his little brother was like “wtf is wrong with you,” he contented himself with slapping his own for a while. AND THEN HE SLAPPED MINE AND I WAS LIKE HELL FUCKING NO. We had to have a talk (I kept it light) about nonconsensual butt-touching. I had already been telling him to leave his brother alone but this time I generalized it to ALL BUTTS. Just don’t touch peoples’ butts, I said.

Later today I worked the evening with a different family, and the three year old girl kept sliding her hand between my thighs while I was reading the bedtime story. I had to keep moving her hand away for chrissakes. What even is that?! Children are so weird, man.

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