If I write about how much I love my dog, and you have an entire paragraph in your profile about how your pet allergies, don’t message me.

If I write about how much I don’t want kids, and your profile is all about finding the “right” woman and getting married and having kids, don’t message me.

If I explain that I am an atheist, and you list God as one of the things you couldn’t live without, don’t fucking message me.

Final note: pasty white guy with blond hair, you really don’t need to refer to yourself as a “Stable white man” in your profile. I live in St. Louis, at least try to be better with your casual racism.

What else am I missing?