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Why So Pretentious?

I know there are a lot of art/academic people around here... I'm one of you, but humor me and riddle me this: WHYYYY is the way we're expected to write (professionally, not here in Kinjaland) so insufferable? Everything sounds pretentious as fuck. Why can't we just say things in a less flowery, more accessible way? Like... I just wrote this sentence:

Rather than presenting straightforward photographic documentation of the neighborhoods, the images are heavily blurred to imply motion and convey an ethereal sense of place.

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BARF. I even find myself obnoxious.

Seriously though, why is pretension the norm and this kind of language a requirement if you want to be taken seriously? It just seems unnecessarily exclusive and elitist. I know a lot of people that complain about this, but we all go along with it.* Ugh. Anyone want to join me and boycott?

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*Related: have any of you read this article on "artspeak"?

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