Warning for intense amounts of self-pity and ranting.
- Boyrax gave me his copy of Guild Wars 2 because he wasn't playing it, and my best friend promised she would play with me, that she plays every day, was excited, etc. We played together the first night I installed it, and ever since then we haven't played together once. I don't have a guild and she's been changing the subject off of the game, and it's a special kind of lonely to be playing a massively multiplayer game and feel completely alone in it.
- Mom saw her new oncologist today who said she wouldn't have to have surgery with a colostomy chance, but she needed a port under her skin for chemo, even though it's only 5 days of chemo over the entire treatment. She knows that she should get it, that it's not that major, but for some reason her mind has latched onto this as the small bit of control she has over the whole cancer situation, and the fact that the doctors are pushing it very hard has made her break down for the past two days.
- I explained all this to Boyrax and his reaction was basically "I don't know why she wants control, I just don't get it! If I had cancer I would just let the doctors do whatever!" Yeah yeah, let's see how you react to things if you ever actually get cancer, instead of your hypothetical manly man situation where you'd be able to handle whatever they threw at you and had no problems giving away the rest of your summer to painful, invasive, expensive daily procedures while not even being able to feel normal when you're not getting them because you are constantly reminded by something under your skin that you have cancer.
- My great aunt called my mom and started trying to give her medical advice even though she is 83 and has not been in the medical field for over 20 years. Furthermore, when she was in the medical field, she was a nurse at the Port Authority in New York and dealt with on-the-job injuries. She is incapable of using the internet and has only gotten medical knowledge from television since she retired. All she did was freak out my mom even more ("The radiologist needs to warn you about lymphedema!!" Oh okay, he'll warn her about it and then...she'll get the radiation anyway because she needs radiation to cure her fucking cancer).
- A guy that I used to really look up to in high school posted one of those terrible statuses generalizing all women as "too confusing". He had literally no idea why I told him that I expected more class from him. I'm also acutely aware that when he's trying to deal with women, he spends days overanalyzing every little thing they do and then not making a move on them at all ever even if he's interested and he thinks she is, and then whines about how he wants a girlfriend. Get it together - it's not that women are confusing, it's that you can't figure out basic social skills long enough to get a date with someone.
- I had two mixed drinks and didn't even get remotely tipsy. I don't want to consume any more liquid calories so now I'm pissed and sober.
- I've been doing situps and curls and leg lifts for forever it feels like now and I can't see a bit of results on my body because I still have too much body fat and I know exercise-wise I'm doing more so I'm getting stronger but I can't see it and it feels useless because what if I never lose this bit of fat left? I never have before so it's not unrealistic to assume that I won't and this would be a waste of time. Also exercise is miserable because...
- IT'S SO FUCKING HOT