I dunno, guys. I don't really even have anything articulate to say, and I'm pretty buzzed anyway. But why does love have to be so fucking hard? Why am I still in love with a guy who TWICE let his estranged wife come back because she couldn't find appropriate housing for their kids on her own? (Just FYI, I was not involved with him when he wasn't separated. He actually physically moved out, TWICE, and then twice let her move in with him and their kids rather than seek full custody. I met him during his first separation).

Now he's out a third time. His wife is mentally ill, on disability. He should easily be able to get custody of the kids and live his own life. But obviously I'm a total idiot to even consider getting involved with him again. And yet, here I am. I haven't told a single real life friend that we're texting/talking again because they'd disown me, and rightfully so. I KNOW it's stupid. But we met for drinks a few weeks ago and I really thought (hoped) that I'd see him and be all "whew, I'm over him" and instead the minute I saw his face I was all "guh."

I suck.