Welcome To The Bitchery

Wienerdog: the ultimate Predator

She is almost at 4 hours of doing this, just this morning. What is she doing? Staring into a hole in our tile where she may or may not have seen a bug*. I have it on good authority this is what she did all last night while I was out.

If this alleged bug were to emerge, you know what she'd do? Bat it around like a cat, chase it, bark at it. But not kill it. So here I would be, chasing a cockroach that's being chased by a dog, trying not to cry**, and not doing any of the work I'm supposed to be doing.


*I feel like if it was a bug, we'd all be dead by now so it can't be a bug.

**I hate big bugs, hate hate hate hate hate hate hate. Last time there was a bug and my fiancé wasn't here to kill it (he works a 14 hour day on Fridays), I literally left the house and did work at my friend's house and ate her food. I texted Boyancé about bug so he would hunt it when he got home, and came home when I had confirmation he was home. We never found that bug.

ETA: Another story about avoiding bugs:

My old roommate went out of town for two weeks and there was a roach in our living room. I stood as far away as possible and sprayed the nasty spray. It slowed down but it didn't seem to kill it. I placed a bowl over it so I wouldn't have to look at it. Then my dog, who loves poison, started sniffing around and I realized she might kill herself, so I locked her in a room, ran out, bought FOUR baby gates in order to barricade her away from the hazardous area. When my roommate came back, he was like OMG WTF HAVE YOU DONE, YOU'VE BEEN HERE TWO WEEKS WITH AN ALMOST DEAD PALMETTO BUG UNDER A BOWL AND A BUNCH OF BABY GATES EVERYWHERE. Believe it or not, he is still friends with me.


Share This Story