So...there's this little film called 8 1/2 that I plan on watching as soon as I have a laptop available.As little as I have seen this Fellini classic through the years, I've always been inspired by the character of La Saraghina. Yes, she's objectified in an unflattering light, but there is a beauty and sexiness the character carries with her that I hope to carry myself in even modern times.
When you are fat, even the acceptably curvy level of fat, people tend to put you in two categories. You are either the matronly type that makes everyone comfortable or the insatiable sexpot that makes everyone, especially men,uncomfortable.
La Saraghina falls into the sexpot role, but seems to embrace it. There is some power in being able to take joy in making others uncomfortable.Fat people put a lot of energy into making people comfortable. We wear only clothes that fit and flatter us because we know that people are uncomfortable seeing too much of our "imperfect" bodies. Many fat people reign back whatever sexuality they have in fear of it repelling potential partners for it's boldness.Even small things like sitting down in subways and busses become minefields because we don't want to make the people around us, complete strangers, uncomfortable by touching any excess flesh.
I want to take a page from La Saraghina's book: people should want to pay for the privilege of my body.If I dance and the skirt of my dress rides up, money should be thrown to the ground and boys should gawk.If anyone is uncomfortable, it's their loss.It's all my body, and it's great as is, and not after 50 pounds or a smaller butt. I would like to think I have that confidence, but I can only be inspired at this point.
Who is inspiring you lately?