So I got an update to the post I had the other week about an MRA on my friend's facebook!
From my friend:
"I got this FB message the other day from my friend of 22 years: "Sorry [redatected], you're unfollowed. Too much feminism." Must mean I'm doing something right! On a less hilarious note, attached is a book said fellow wrote about a year ago (it sells on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Meet-Date-Asia…). I don't mean to pick on him especially, as he's so deluded and insecure that I feel sorry for him.
I helped break up a 22 year friendship! :D
But more importantly, this guy is bananas. Absolute Bananas. Like, I think he might be a rapist. Who wrote a book on how to date women in Asian because ladies from the "West" are just giant bitches.
An absolutely astounded passage from his "book" that my friend highlighted for me:
"Women can take an active part in keeping her own resistance from acting up by allowing herself to maintain plausible deniability. If a woman thinks that sex is a serious possibility, for example, she might come right out and tell you that she won't have sex with you. This used to throw me off. Most guys take this as a sign that they screwed up or that she's not interested in them. More experienced guys recognize this for what it is, however, a necessary action that allows a woman to protect her own reputation. After all, if she didn't think that sex was a real possibility, why would she say something like that? Does your grandmother tell you that she wont have sex with you?
When I hear those words now, I feel all warm inside. When I hear those words I know that the girl is thinking about sex with me, and that she knows she's putting herself into a situation where sex could take place. In her eyes, she might want to have sex with you very much, but she can't admit that openly - she has to maintain the mask of prudishness and purity.
It is much more problematic when this kind of token resistance happens in the bedroom. Here, the line between "no, stop, don't" and "no, stop, don't" gets blurred. While women like a sexually aggressive man, someone who will push the situation to the desired outcome, women will still say no much of the time to save face. In countries such as Korea, many women expect the man to push much harder than a guy would in the West so she can save face. This can be uncomfortable for many guys who are used to escalating sexually on western women, and this discomfort often causes them to stop pushing the situation, only to disappoint the girl."
I can't even start to unpack the gross misogyny, racism, cultural essentialism and just outright asshatery that is taking place here.
This is PUA at it's core. A movement that allows men to feel "warm inside" when they are told no, sex will not be taking place. He follows this with a tale about a friend who threw a girl fully clothed into a shower on the first date to get her naked, after she said she wouldn't sleep with him. Now she is "head over heels in love".
Or suffering from an offshoot of Stockholm syndrome.
So Yay me, for helping my wonderful, compassionate, feminist friend walk away from a horrible misogynist with little to no guilt!