I am looking for some outside perspective on a work situation so I can figure out if I am reading this situation wrong.
Background: I had a baby a year ago, took maternity leave, and came back to work. I had a rough transition back because my father passed away from lung cancer about 4 weeks before I returned to work, and my job is focused on lung cancers. My baby wasn’t sleeping at all, and I had little emotional stability from lack of sleep. Add the trauma of losing a parent and having to immerse yourself in the disease that killed them all day every day? It’s a disaster.
My boss and I used to have a great relationship but since my return I feel like there is a bias against me as a mom that didn’t exist before I was a mom. For example, it is increasingly hard to get my male boss’s attention on issues even when they are reaching crisis levels. I can talk to him about the same thing for weeks or months, and when it finally becomes Chernobyl level, he pays attention but blames me... even though he is so unable to cede control that I can’t send emails to clients without his approval (which again often takes months).
Part of why it is so hard to get his attention is that he puts it off until the end of the day when he is well aware that I have to leave at 5 to pick my child up from daycare. I had been warned by a former mentor who used to work with him - also a mom - that he was biased against mothers. It feels like he waits until the end of the day to force me to say that I have to go get my kid.
I am not sure if I am reading this situation correctly or if I am letting my mentor’s words cloud my judgment. But it does feel gendered even if it’s not intentional. For example, he can spend like an hour or two a day talking baseball but he can’t pay attention to his female employee who needs to discuss critical issues. Is that gendered or just poor time management? Does it really matter since it’s making me miserable at work?
I am already looking for my next job. I have made some great connections in the past couple of weeks, so I have hope. But I could use your perspective in the meantime!
Thanks! I am going to see some comedy tonight so I might not respond quickly but I would really appreciate your thoughts!