My boss is going to be out for a couple weeks so she asked me to do a couple reports that she usually does. Simple things like, "How much of X product did we sell in this time frame?" Cake walk, I used to do this shit all the time.

Attempt #1:

"Done! 36,000 units last quarter."

"That's not what I got, I got 34,000."

"Hm, I wonder what's up."

"Did you remember to remove all canceled orders?"

"Oh, no, good call."

Attempt #2:

"I'm still coming up with 36,000 units. Am I missing something here?"

"How are you spelling 'canceled?' The system only recognizes it if its spelled 'cancelled' with two 'L's."

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"That's not how we spell canceled in this country. That's 'cancel-led.' Whatever, I'm not the king of English, I'll try it again."

Attempt #3

"Okay, I removed canceled orders but I'm still coming up wrong. I'm getting 35,000 units now."

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"Are you removing canceled line items? Like if they didn't cancel the whole order but just changed that line."

"God fucking damn it. No, I forgot. But that makes sense. One second."

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Attempt #4

"I've removed canceled orders and line items but I'm still coming up with 35,000 units."

"Oh, when you try to cancel a line item you have to spell it 'canceled.'"