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I have a problem saying no to people. Sometimes it sucks, but at the same time I don't want to change. The problem is, when I work too much the stress and the other chores all get pushed off on to my family.

I am not a workaholic. When I don't have any pressing deadlines, I read GT and twitter all day. It's just that I worry about letting other people down.

So now I am on the verge of tears - it's sort of complicated. I need to breed four heifers of mine. It's very, very important to my farm that I get this done. In fact, I'm already almost a month behind on it because of my insane State Fair debacle (which used up 90% of my vacation days and I got paid under minimum wage for — another project I should have said no to). Because I work a full-time job I chose to give my heifer a set of shots to synchronize their ovulation so that 1) I can get all four bred on the same day and 2) I know exactly when they will ovulate since I don't have much time to observe them for natural ovulation. This set of shots takes a few weeks and once you are on the path there is no altering the schedule.

Before I started them I asked a co-worker if I would need to be involved in a certain project. He said no. Then last week he tells me that I need to set aside this Wednesday for the project (a 1.5 hour drive away, and about 16 hours on site at the project) just in case someone else can't make it. I tell him that I really need to breed my heifers that day and it would be really tough for me to find someone else to do it, but I can in an emergency. Just being honest. Every day I ask if he knows whether he might need me or not. He keeps saying he doesn't know, but he will definitely know today.

Today I remind him that I really, really, would rather not because I have to breed my heifers. A few hours later he comes in and says that the conflict is resolved, but he's "going to have me go anyway just so I can stay in the loop." So now I will be calling on my husband and my parents to come do this for me on Wednesday. My husband was so mad when I first told him that he might have to do this for me. I didn't have the heart to say no to the co-worker. I feel like even more of an idiot if I go back now and say, "actually, I can't." What kind of jerk knows that this would be a huge hardship for me and still has me do it just because? I feel like his mind is made up - I explained the situation very clearly. My husband wants me to just say no to these things but I don't want to be the whiny one, the one who always has conflicts, so maybe I downplayed the conflict too much. I don't want to be the only woman in the job and also look like the one who's always avoiding the hard jobs, so I say yes to everything. When I say no, people push back anyway, so why not just avoid the conflict and do everything for everyone?

I don't know if I'm looking for advice or just cute gifs to cheer me up.


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