I've never come closer to full on ragegasming at a customer than I did today. Being that we're the Kosher Deli section, we get some, uh...demanding customers, let's say. Which is fine; God knows I have experience dealing with demanding people.

But this one lady today...hooooooooly crap. She asks for a quarter-lb of tuna salad โ€” fine, I can do that. I start to get it and she's like, "no, none of the tomatoes, I have my own tomatoes and they don't go bad."* Ok...fine. "No, none of the vegetables." Ok...also fine, not a problem. So I go to weigh the tuna salad, and it's over. Not HUGELY over โ€” maybe .35 instead of .25 (accounting for the container). I start to say our standard "it's a little bit over, is that alright" spiel (whether it's fine or not, we can take some out, it's not a problem) and before I even get through "it's a little bit o-" she goes "No, I said a quarter of a pound. A quarter of a pound is 0.25."

I'm honestly not sure how I didn't explode. Probably my years of customer service experience. Possibly the fact that too many responses were queueing up at once in my head (my personal favorite was "THANK YOU NICE LADY NOW I CAN FINALLY FINISH THE THIRD GRADE" although "yes, unless we're using base-eleven quantum mathematics" was coming up strongly from behind). I finished taking care of her and the next customer (who had seen the whole thing, and was around my age) gave me a look like, "was she fucking serious?" I smile sweetly and knowingly back at her and we had A Moment.

In short, fuck that lady, fuck her so goddamn hard. Fuck you and your elitist, snobby bullshit, you stupid asshole. But yay for the nice customer afterwards.

*We alternate between a classic tuna salad with celery and mayo and a Mediterranean tuna salad with tomatos, cucumbers, olives, and italian dressing. I'm putting this here to forestall "YOU HAVE TOMATOES IN YOUR TUNA SALAD?!?!!?????!?!?!?!!!!!111one" comments.