So, I'm having a hell of a week at work and I need to vent. This is long and I'm sorry, but no one's around and I'm a mess.
I work at a school, for clarification. For 4 years, I've gotten to work every single day between 7AM and 7:10, even though our 'report time' is actually 7:35. Many people show up after 7:45, which is technically against the rules since school as started, but it doesn't stop and no one says anything to them. We get 10 sick days a year; I've probably taken no more than 3 or 4 each year. I am literally ALWAYS at work.
Yesterday was one of the worst days of my career. I don't want to say too much for fear of doxxing, but let's just say certain higher-ups in my school used a questionable method to show "what not to do" with a certain task we're all required to do, and used something of mine as an example. Even though names were blocked out, my subject is obvious enough that by process of elimination people could figure out whose it was. I was mortified, humiliated, and deflated... not in the least because this particular task had gone through several people. If it was so bad, why wasn't I told to fix it? Nope, let's just let it slide and then humiliate you for it in front of your colleagues! Great motivation strategy, guys! I really want to put forth my best effort now!
So today I felt ok, though while I ate breakfast I had some tinges of stomach woes but I figured it was residual nerves about being so deflated yesterday. Got to work 7:05, go about my business, and then 7:20 it hits. Nausea, gagging/dry-heaving. I try to calm down but nope, it's definitely happening. School hasn't started yet — truth bet told, half the staff isn't even in yet! — so I go to the nurse. She says "you're an adult, if you're sick go home." She calls the scheduler to get my classes covered. I offer to stay for the first class since it's hard to find someone last minute; she says it's fine, just go. I make arrangements for my classes, ask some department colleagues to check my classes who are taking a test, and leave. Bear in mind, school technically hasn't even started yet (and still, many colleagues are not yet at work).
I get home, throw up as soon as I walk in the door, change into pjs and sulk (I'm still really, really upset about yesterday).
10AM I get an e-mail from a higher-up (the same one responsible for humiliating me yesterday, BTW) reprimanding me for leaving. She says I've done it before between "this year and last" (I did it ONCE last year! same situation—stomach bug! I haven't been out yet this year!) and it's too stressful for the scheduler to cover me last minute (I offered to stay for the first class!). She says I should call out in advance if I'm not feeling well, even 7:15 is okay in a pinch (ignoring the fact that at 7:15 I'm already long at work... but she wouldn't know that, since she doesn't get there until 7:45).
Not to mention the scheduler's yelled at me in the past for calling her at 6:30 because it was "late".
So here I am, nauseous on my couch and now sobbing hysterically because apparently I can do nothing right. Nevermind the first two months of school I've been running myself ragged doing extra things — teaching extra classes *for which I have not yet been paid when they said I would be*, literally double-teaching some periods running between my own class and a colleague's to make sure her kids didn't fall behind while she was on an extended leave — but no kudos, no thanks, no "we really appreciate all your hard work." Nope. Just "here's an example of how bad you suck, and also please get sick in a more convenient way."
Now that I think about it, only my department head has ever really thanked me for my work and commended what I do. The actual administration? Nothing.
I've had a pretty good stretch in terms of my mental health (history of depression/anxiety), but I'm having a hard time keeping it together and not spiraling out of control right now. I can't think of a place I want to go less than my job.
I would appreciate GIFs or messages of commiseration. Has your day been shitty too? Let's rant. What's the Tuesday equivalent of Fuck-it Friday?