Today I got the news that I didn’t get a job. It was a shock for system because my skills are nuanced and it was the first time I haven’t gotten an offer for a job (and good kick in the ass about my privilege).

I’ve been working with my therapist about the need for status and external validation. And this really came into focus today with why I feel so poorly about myself for not getting the job. In my head I equate it with who I am as a person, I let jobs and the prestige of the company determine how “good” of a person I am.

I’m also currently out on disability and I thought this job would force me to be “healthy” by a certain timeframe (because that’s how health works 🙄).

As anyone else worked through tying self worth to external validation? Or the feelings of failure that come with dealing with a serious health issue? I’d love to hear things that helped you.