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Workplace Rant - Winter Edition

Dear Management: Please stop pretending you give a shit about my heath and safety.

Listen. I get it. I do work. You pay me. That's the extent of our relationship. I'm OK with that. Mostly I don't hate my job* or my coworkers (except for that asshole Alan** - fuck that guy). The money's decent and the benefits are good (for America).

I'm not, however, OK with the all the we care about our employees well being bullshit. Please stop with constant the emails about how to reduce stress (note: having to glance at then delete those extra emails just cause stress) and how you support work life balance and how you want to help us. Please stop with the cheerleading that we are so important to the mission and that you care. We all know we are just pawns and you only care about "the numbers" because those numbers are what effect your bonuses and promotions. Just stop with this pretend caring.

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Plus, you might want to keep in mind that there is this magical thing called the Interweb which is made of tubes or something that allows lowly worker drones to find out that the Federal Executive Board posted a recommendation this morning that you send your employees home at 1pm today because the roads are terrible and they are going to get worse with all the snow that's falling and the wind that's blowing and the plows that can't keep up with it all and the running low on road salt. There is also something called the grapevine where even I, usually the last to know***, learned that several other agencies in the building instituted a liberal leave policy**** so people could leave early if theywished because of safety or other concerns.

So the next time management wants to tell us how important we are or human resources feels the need to send out yet another email about winter safety tips, please don't waste our - or your - time. Remember that we all know that people staying to crank out more work is far more important you than our safety.

And since for some reason the FEB memo has been removed from the website so I can't post it, I will post a photo my awesome little red snow blower who I am spending far to much time with this winter. I made it home fine if a bit later than normal. The roads weren't horrible but my commute is short and I'm not in one of the harder hit areas. I hope everyone else made it home safely as well - even that asshole Alan. At least we have power in our area. Ice and no power is generally worse than heavy snow.

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*I hate that I haven't won Powerball yet (but that will change tonight) and have to work rather than travel the world living a life of leisure and solving crimes. But as far as job go, not that bad.

**I pretty sure I don't work with anyone named Alan. If I do, I don't know him and have no idea if he is an asshole.

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***Having run out of fucks to give a little over a year ago.

****This means employees use their own annual leave hours so it's not as if people are getting extra time off. It's just when they take it.

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