Welcome To The Bitchery

Worst sex advice ever?

So, we all know that Cosmo gives terrible sex tips. I don't blame them. It must be exhausting coming up with new ways of "pleasing your man" every month. But did you know that Men's Health also hands out some truly ridiculous recommendations for spicing things up in the bedroom?


Salon came up with a list of 15 terrible pieces of "naughty" advice and while Cosmo made up 2/3 of the list, Men's Health had a respectable four entries. For your edification:

1) The key to sexiness may lie in yogurt—at least for mice. The testicles of mice fed a yogurt diet were 5 percent bigger than those on a regular diet—and 15 percent bigger than mice fed a ‘junk food diet,’ according to a new study out of MIT.

Because who doesn't love bigger balls?

2) If you’re out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she just wipes it off down her skirt, you’ve blown it.


Nothing hotter than a slow, firm palm-licking.

3) According to new research, the smell of toast is a serious mood booster.

Maybe if you're this guy:

4) Hold her gaze for a minute. If she’s blinking more than normal (which is about 15 times a minute), there’s a good chance she’s on the Pill; women on birth control blink 32 percent more than those who aren’t.


This seems like a responsible way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.


In conclusion, while Men's Health has made valiant strides in closing the gender gap on terrible sex advice, they still have a long way to go before they reach Cosmo levels of idiocy.

Share This Story