I'm having a discussion on facebook with a friend of mine about this Dr. Nerdlove post. It's a civil/friendly conversation, but I'm curious to hear others' thoughts on it. He's italic, I'm regular text. I'm just now starting to use my voice and share my opinion when I post articles and someone wants to engage in dialogue about them.

  • Interesting intro, but I think the premise is flawed. I don't believe the insecure male is the definition of maleness just like miley and that version of the pop culture female doesn't define womanhood.
  • He's not really arguing that all men are insecure beings, he's pointing out the ways that traditional tropes of masculinity can be harmful towards men. Specifically the idea that "maleness" is something that can be broken down into a specific set of traits (overly sexual, aggressive, emotionally distant, incapable of vulnerability)
  • yes. i agree very much with that aspect, excepting the part that those are traditional tropes of masculinity. because there is a culture that very greatly exhibits those destructive behavior and defines them as what it means to be a male doesn't make that what the whole culture defines as male. It is similar to saying that the Paris Hilton-types define womanhood. because there exists a certain culture of woman that is quite degrading to women doesn't redefine womanhood.
  • there are other parts of the article I disagree with, but that's the the one that I find that needs to be included to make his argument without a logical fallacy
  • Culture at large and the legacy of patriarchy are what have labelled these as traditionally masculine traits, though. I'm not at all saying that men in general are like this just by their inherent nature or are completely defined by those traits. I don't believe that any particular trait is inherently male or female, but we are conditioned to believe the opposite is true- boys should play rough, girls are dainty, boys don't cry, girls are too emotional, etc. Gender identity is completely individual, and that's why the idea of a binary does not serve us well
  • I dont believe the patriarchy encourages most of the traits, I think this comes out of the burgeoning "bro" culture, not the entrenched male culture. The male dominated culture is about stoicism and no emotion. It centers around both power and loyalty with a certain amount of unity.
  • That's where it's ended so far. I'd disagree with him in saying that encouraging hypermasculinity is only true of bro culture. It's everywhere, and pushing stoicism/a lack of emotion spills over and creates all kinds of other issues.
  • Thoughts?