So I wrote a play about a former lover that doesn't depict exactly what happened to us (the characters are different and fictional and how their relationship forms and breaks apart is different too) but some of the emotional themes relate to what happened between us. Namely, he was very commitment phobic and afraid of abandonment and I was deeply insecure and and afraid of being hurt.
I'm debating about showing it to my ex. This play is a legitimate piece of artwork, not a thinly disguised act of revenge or something (as in, this play has been performed and is being workshopped now and I've also been writing plays for six years).
We have both moved on to other people, so it's not about winning him back. Admittedly, it took me a long time to get over what happened and the play provided much-needed closure for me. I felt like it validated my feelings of loss and allowed me to move on.
I would hope that he would be touched or at least flattered to read the play, which in and of itself shows how deeply he impacted me. He has told me on numerous occasions—even after the breakup since we keep in loose contact—that he has always felt like I am one of the few people who knows the real him and that he valued that. This play is first and foremost about my emotional experience—because I'm not a mind reader—but it undoubtedly touches on his own and my understanding of him. They don't think it is an unfair depiction or imbalanced, but they agree it's a very personal work and are divided if I should send it to him.
But I fear he will react negatively. My biggest fear is that he will say, "You got this completely wrong. We didn't break up due to our baggage. I just never really loved you," or something along those lines. I also fear he will think I am obsessed with him or something. Other people who have seen the play think that even though the play is clearly a work of fiction, there is a fair amount of my ex in it.
I have run into my ex at a party and mentioned the play and possibly showing it to him since it would be "relevant" to him and our relationship. Before I could really explain, he said, "Relevant in a good or bad way, I would like to read it because I support you and your writing." So perhaps he's already down to read it?
I still don't know if I should send it to him! I fear he will respond in a way that will undermine my sense of closure. The play gave me a sense of finality about things and also clarified to me what happened and why it impacted me the way it did. If this stirs things up again or causes an argument, I would regret showing it to him.
What do you think? Should I send it to him?