I love to hate-read Prudie's column. For this advice, I'm only like 20% [edit: let's bump that up to 70%] mad at her for reasons I'll disclose below. But, like, WHAT THE FUCK WITH THIS BOYFRIEND?!
Q. Road Trips: I love to travel, and really enjoy getting away for the weekend whenever possible. However, my boyfriend of four years has put a real damper on this for me. He seems obsessed with the idea of my flashing truckers when we are on the road. He will pull up beside an 18-wheeler and slow down, expecting me to show off the goods. This makes me very uncomfortable. When I refuse, it turns into a huge fight and he ends up not speaking to me for days. He claims that he does so much for me every day and he can't understand why I can't do this thing for him. It has caused a lot of ridiculous fights between us. What can I do?
A: I like Dan Savage's formulation that people in sexual relationships should be GGG—Good, Giving, and Game. That is, good in bed, generous sexually, and open to exploring the corners of their beloved's erotic life. However, if being GGG on a road trip means you end up as road kill, then it's time to bow out of engaging in your boyfriend's fantasies. It doesn't matter if on a daily basis your boyfriend cooks you Michelin-worthy meals and then massages your feet. He gets turned on by your exposing yourself to strangers driving a rig who if they get distracted could squash you like a bug. The answer to your boyfriend's request is very firm, "No." If that causes him to stop speaking to you, then you need to extend to silence to forever because he's simply a creep.
Does anyone see anything missing here in this advice? Maybe a little something about consent?
Like, the girlfriend does not consent to this QUITE INTIMATE act, and has a boundary she won't cross, the the boyfriend is throwing a goddamn shit fit about it.
Or about how the truck driver isn't technically consenting. Flashing is a goddamn sex crime - while I'm guessing this truck driver might not mind, you never know, and the boyfriend is egging her on to basically sexually violate a stranger. To commit a crime that has a victim. Yes. I don't want to be flashed in public; I don't want anyone to err on the side of "she probably wants to be flashed in public." I would extend this same courtesy to the truck driver.
And, again, having a goddamn hissy fit when she doesn't *obey* him.
Again, mostly just appalled by the question. Only 20% [edit 70%] mad at Prudie because she technically has good points, except that the *while driving* part of the story is not exactly the point here. I wish she had more strongly said, DUMP THAT MOTHERFUCKER NOW.
Edit: whoops, link.
Edit again: as nopenotathing points out....
Flashing as in genital exposure etc. is a sex crime (and awful), but shirtlessness isn't in any state for men, isn't in some states for women and shouldn't be in any state for women or men. She wouldn't be sexually violating the truck driver any more than I'm being sexually violated by the many dudes scampering around my town shirtless.
So, there is a chance it's not a sex crime where they're at.