Mr. MacNasty decided (out of the fucking blue) that he wanted to be involved in the cookery of Thanksgiving. Normally he's not allowed in my kitchen because he does criminal shit to food, cookware, dishes, pots and cutlery. I barely let him touch the dishwasher and the coffeepot. Seriously, he is the WORST. He doesn't understand concepts like "defrosting" or "preheating." He once brought home a frozen bag of something called "chicken PARTS." He forgets to drain spaghetti. Just trust me. He's terrible.

But he means well! He does! I didn't want to just be like, "NO YOU SUCK, LOL." His family is coming and I think he wants to at least look like he's capable of something kitcheny. His solution? He is gonna buy us a motherfuckin' DEEP FRYER and DEEP FRY OUR TURKEY.

I love him so much, you guise. I may even have to let him have new kitchen privileges in the light of his beneficence.