My long-time BFF just moved halfway across the country to move in with her boyfriend of like 9 years, who just graduated law school, passed the bar, and got a real job. This is a big deal for her - first move away from her family, first move to a place she doesn’t know (almost) anyone, moved away from a job she loved, etc. She was, coincidentally, itching for a new adventure though.

She’s been there since the beginning of June. I was texting her just being like, “how’s things?” and she sent me the slightly unnerving, “I’m fine. It’s going to be fine. I’m sure I’ll be fine.” So I called her, and her sonofabitch boyfriend signed a lease with her and has YET to move into the house where she’s at, and is living across town with his parents. And, like, only sees her on weekends. And he gets angry at her when she “nags” him about when he’s going to, you know, cohabitate with her as planned.

So, of course, she feels like an idiot and is very lonely and doesn’t know anyone (so I just bought a ticket to go visit her). I kind of felt like this was one of those 911 best friend come visit you ASAP situations (unfortunately ASAP is not for a month but it’s better than nothing). I am so incensed at the thought of her sitting alone in THEIR apartment.

What is a 31 year old lawyer doing living with his parents, you ask? Well, he’s almost always lived with his parents, except for when he was in undergrad. It was always, “saving money, bla bla bla” and she even kind of put her foot down a few years ago and was like, “I’m ready to grow up and start our lives.” I think they broke up or almost broke up or something.

Clearly, clearly, he doesn’t want to commit to her or move in with her. BUT WHAT KIND OF DICK LETS HER FUCKING MOVE LIKE THAT?! She’s not pushy, she didn’t push her way into this. She is going on a decade of this shit - and at the very moment when she was ready, when she was willing to break it off, he reels her back in with promises of babies and moving away together and everything.

I know that it is clear they are dysfunctional and should break up, but I can’t blame her for clinging to this relationship. Other than this noncommittal infantile bullshit, he seems like such a great catch. I can see how you’d keep waiting for someone to outgrow this, particularly when they have been going back to school over and over.