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You know it's the Christmas season when...

...shit breaks, costs a fortune, or otherwise gets fucked up for no apparent reason!

I've definitely mentioned before how much I hate Christmas. Because I hate Christmas. Bad shit happens every year. Short sample of my adult Christmases:

2008: 1 week before Christmas, stuck in a snowstorm in Portland for several days (and a snowstorm in the Willamette Valley pretty much never happens). Finally drive home anyway because my cat is out of food and I have no friends at the time. Then I get a flat tire. Take it to the shop, find out all of my tires are bald. $500. Then my high school sweetheart tells me he failed out of college 3 days later - while he's on a cruise I was originally invited to and was uninvited from at the last second.


2010: Someone throws a rock through my car window. Then the Abusive Asshole's car needs a $700 repair. Then he loses his job. Then he cheats on me.

2011: The Abusive Asshole alienates my mom by getting involved between her and my dad. She decides she doesn't want to see us. I spend Christmas reading on the couch. I don't see anyone other than the A.A.

2012: I put up a tree, drink cider, do the Christmas gift thing in earnest and spend hundreds of dollars on friends. 3 days before Christmas the Abusive Asshole wrecks his car. That night I find out he's actually breaking all his promises and our getting back together won't work out. I confront him and he punches me in the face, solar plexus and arm. 5 days after that I find out he's actually had a girlfriend on the side the whole time he's been trying to get back together with me.

And this is as an adult. As a kid, Christmas meant extended family drama, fighting, and general misery.


And so far, this year is not looking promising. Last night I flew into the Portland airport just after midnight. GreenHunk and I went to a gas station on our way out of town. And the gas attendant filled my car with regular gasoline. I have a diesel car. Yes, I did specify diesel, and yes, it says diesel on the cap. So I'm sitting in this gas station for 2 hours waiting for them to get ahold of their manager. I have one friend in Portland and she's not answering her phone - it's the middle of the night. Finally the store owner calls back and he won't talk to me. He says the employees are just going to have to wait for the manager to call and that's all there is to it. I'm livid. Who would treat a customer like that? I get a hotel, and they pump my gas tank, finally, at 9am this morning. Then the gas station manager says they won't pay for my hotel because "they treat this situation like any car failure." Um, excuse me?! You fucked up. That's not a car failure. That's not how you treat your customers.

Then I get home and my refrigerator is broken. There are rivulets of sticky melted blueberries running everywhere in the freezer.


Weirdly, if it were summer, I'd probably be more optimistic about all of this. Well, at least we didn't drive off and get 3 miles down the freeway before the car stopped working. Well, at least they did finally pay for my hotel, even if it doesn't cover the work I missed that I don't have any vacation time left to cover. But because it's December, all I can keep thinking is, "Why does this ALWAYS FUCKING HAPPEN?"

I know, I know. First world problems. I could have it so much worse. It's totally true. I just...Christmas is the worst, no matter how hard I try to make it better.

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