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You know you have chronic headaches when ...

... you wake up one morning and your first thought is, "Hey, I don't have a headache today!" Unfortunately, today was not one of those days for me today. Today is one of these days for me today:

And this is my normal look. I actually have never worn eye makeup because I end up smearing it all over my face when I rub my eyes during a headache. After working with me for over 10 years now, my co-workers who I am closest to can tell simply by looking at me if it's a headache day or not - and they also use it to predict the weather, as in the winter, my headaches tend to also be a measure of barometer change and predictors of oncoming storms.

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If it's the weekend, I'll just stay in bed, catch up on DVRed shows or L&O-SVU reruns. But my husband, who rarely ever gets a headache, just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand how it is physically possible for a person to have a headache as much as I do. I think he thinks I'm pretending or something. We've been together 20 years, so he has enough sense of self-preservation to never say such a stupid thing out loud, but I know what he's thinking because ... HELLO? 20 years. What he doesn't get is that I probably have the highest tolerance for pain out of everyone in this family because I deal with it regularly. But, man, it is wearing me out.

I take an anti-seizure med (Topamax) as a preventative, and it seems to have cut down on the frequency, but they're still intense, maybe even a little more so. Then I have a medicine to take to try and stop the headache early if I can catch them, but that med costs me $145 for 9 tablets. Just thinking about taking one of those suckers practically makes the headache worse, and sometime it takes two. Sometimes all that works is Vicodin (which of course is cheap, but you know, addictive) but now because of all the public outcry over over-prescribing of pain medication, my doctor is becoming more and more reluctant to refill that. Okay people ... I am not addicted if I am taking one Vicodin every couple of days. Knock off the "concern." Because living with chronic headache pain is about killing me.

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