So today is my last day of clinical placement ever, i.e. the last day I work as a nurse for free!
That also means that today is my clinical evaluation with my preceptor and faculty advisor, which I am really not looking forward to and is giving me mini heart attacks. You see, I sucked at this placement. None of the work came naturally to me and I lost all confidence in my ability to do what I needed to do after screwing up a few times which just compounded all of my incompetence. So on one hand I'm like "Well, I'm better at hospital work than community work, now I know!" but on the other hand, I am not used to being bad at what I do and this bugs the hell out of me. I am used to being really good at the hands-on clinical aspect. So this whole placement has made me feel like a loser.
I am 98% certain that I am going to pass, I'm pretty sure that my preceptor would have told me if I was in danger of failing, but I am not leaving this placement proud of the work I've done. I'm also a little worried about the reference I'll get from this preceptor, and as a new grad (in a shitty job market because there have been cuts to nursing staff left right and centre), her reference is pretty vital to my ability to get a job.
On the bright side, I am finally fucking done with the hell that has been nursing school in 3 weeks! Then I just have to study my face off for my registration exam!
So send me some not-having-a-heart-attack vibes this afternoon! Here's to hoping I am super-nurse enough today to make up for a whole 8 weeks of being an idiot!