Welcome To The Bitchery
Welcome To The Bitchery
This is a platform for User Generated Content. G/O Media assumes no liability for content posted by Kinja users to this platform.

You would have thought...

...that finding a girls FB and hitting on her after she made a comment on a feminist article about catcalling would be a stupid thing to do, but not so, according to the three dicktwats that have blessed me with creepy private messages over the last couple of days. Remind me to never comment on a Buzzfeed article using my fb ever again.

Guy #1:

Hi! I just saw your comment on the Buzzfeed article about feminism. It just occurred to me that, give your last name and location, we may be distant relatives. I'm not looking for anything. I just thought I'd stop by and say hello. Enjoy your weekend!


No, dude, we're probably not relatives because you live thousands of miles from me and we share a really fucking common last name and you are of a different ethnicity. But w/e, I actually humoured this guy and it turns out he was looking for something. #soshocked

Guy #2:

Hey I saw your post on the Buzzfeed article about feminism, where you just said "[Redacted: single joke word]" That was actually kind of funny to me. I usually only end up on Buzzfeed because of the Newsfeed lol, the one on Facebook obviously, when you first sign on. One of my Facebook friends has something on the Newsfeed that links to Buzzfeed, I click on it and read it, and then click on something else, and then something else and something else and so on, and before I know it Ive been on Buzzfeed for like forty-five minutes lol. Anyway, I know I just randomly sent you a message and I have a weird name lol, but it would be great if you messaged me back. Im in New Jersey in the USA. I have relatives that live in the U.K., if that's where you are lol, and I apologize if you're not. Anyway, talk to you later hopefully.


Dude, what? Like, I don't know what your angle is here. Are people usually that interested in how you end up reading buzzfeed. Also, you didn't need to send me a dick pic 20 mins later, it didn't make me think you are more interesting.

Guy #3:

hy angel,,
[dick pic]

Hey asswipe.

Like, for real, can someone explain to me what they're hoping will come of this? Like I'm going to be so flattered that they noticed me (ME!!!1!!1) in the comment section of an article that I'll be swept off my feet by how exotic they are (I mean, come on, two of them were AMERICAN and one was from MALAYSIA! So exciting!) and how impressively average their dicks are that I'll send them a boob pic? It seems like a lot of effort to go to when they could just google boobs.


Share This Story

Get our newsletter