This is definitely worth reading in full.

These parts stuck out to me a lot (emphasis mine):

But the overall problem is one of a culture where instead of seeing women as, you know, people, protagonists of their own stories just like we are of ours, men are taught that women are things to "earn," to "win." That if we try hard enough and persist long enough, we'll get the girl in the end. Like life is a video game and women, like money and status, are just part of the reward we get for doing well.

So what happens to nerdy guys who keep finding out that the princess they were promised is always in another castle? When they "do everything right," they get good grades, they get a decent job, and that wife they were promised in the package deal doesn't arrive? When the persistent passive-aggressive Nice Guy act fails, do they step it up to elaborate Steve-Urkel-esque stalking and stunts? Do they try elaborate Revenge of the Nerds-style ruses? Do they tap into their inner John Galt and try blatant, violent rape?

No, I'm not saying most frustrated nerdy guys are rapists or potential rapists. I'm certainly not saying they're all potential mass murderers. I'm not saying that most lonely men who put women up on pedestals will turn on them with hostility and rage once they get frustrated enough.

But I have known nerdy male stalkers, and, yes, nerdy male rapists. I've known situations where I knew something was going on but didn't say anything—because I didn't want to stick my neck out, because some vile part of me thought that this kind of thing was "normal," because, in other words, I was a coward and I had the privilege of ignoring the problem.

I've heard and seen the stories that those of you who followed the #YesAllWomen hashtag on Twitter have seen—women getting groped at cons, women getting vicious insults flung at them online, women getting stalked by creeps in college and told they should be "flattered." I've heard Elliot Rodger's voice before. I was expecting his manifesto to be incomprehensible madness—hoping for it to be—but it wasn't. It's a standard frustrated angry geeky guy manifesto, except for the part about mass murder.

I've heard it from acquaintances, I've heard it from friends. I've heard it come out of my own mouth, in moments of anger and weakness.

I find the part I bolded especially terrifying and telling. Until the cultural mindset that is feeding the idea of entitlement is changed, no amount of gun control or mental treatment (not that those aren't also important) will stop the type of feelings the shooter had. They are normalized and completely pervasive to far too large a portion of society.

So, a question, to my fellow male nerds:

What the fuck is wrong with us?

How much longer are we going to be in denial that there's a thing called "rape culture" and we ought to do something about it?


This guy gets it.