I’m just not feeling it lately. Part of it is the holidays (I look forward to some things —like the lights, decorations, choosing gifts, music, well - a lot of things, and dread other things —namely family stuff). Part of it is some frustrations with some worky things. Some of it is some deep discomfort with some things going on in a relationship that is really important to me (being unable to trust whether the other person is telling me the truth or fibbing/lying to cover things up or make themselves look better). So, I’ve been having a hard time motivating myself - and right now, the only thing I want to do is make lunch (and lunch is still 1.5-2 hours away) and/or avoid things by cleaning my house (which needs to happen, but I really need to get some work done).
The deep discomfort with my relationship has me constantly feeling like I want to curl up and cry. I was thinking of watching Pitch Perfect last night, as that always makes me sob. I didn’t though, and so the need to cry persists today.
I’m also extremely stressed out about the news. Watching Joy Reid this weekend was exceptionally stressful between the tax bill, Trump possibly subverting the Mueller investigation, etc.
My roommate is gone for 3 weeks. I realized that as much as I love living alone, living with someone definitely keeps me more organized (i.e., less likely to let my house fall into squalor) and more prosocial (i.e., more likely to leave the house to do things). I’m not using my time alone well - hopefully I can shift that when I get back from my mom’s house next week.
Anyway, what’s going on with you all? How are you feeling about the holidays, the tax bill, Mueller, etc.?