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Your weirdest neighbor stories--BRING IT!

So yesterday I challenged Paranoid_Shiksa_Feminista's My Neighbors are Weird? post on the grounds that it was only one neighbor and that it wasn't the deeply weird I expected, although admittedly pretty weird. So let's have a weird-off. Tell us about your weird neighbors. I have no prizes, so as David Letterman used to say, "this is an exhibition, not a competition." I already know that some of you all's neighbors are enthusiastic cornholers.


Not even sure I have any entries since my disconcerting neighbors came in distinct categories which explained the behaviors—somewhat: culturally different (live goat owners who I am pretty sure were practicing Santeria); mentally ill ("I'm going to beat your ass muthafucker" guy); non-neurotypical (mute autistic guy with shoe fetish who would try to fondle our shoes when we went out in fancy high heels).*

*I hope I am using the right terms here. I don't mean them disparagingly.

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