The Boy is going to a wedding this weekend. The bachelorette party (today) includes a tea party and a haunted house earlier in the afternoon/evening and cocktails later on. Last night I jokingly asked him which part of it he was bringing strippers to.

“Cocktails. Although strippers at a tea party... Ooh, or haunted house strippers! Like ghost strippers? Vampire strippers? Zombie strippers! Zombie strippers would be great because they’re stripping, but the thing they’re stripping off is their own limbs.” Here the Boy pretended to sexily pop off his own arms.

“Want to see some boobs? Here, take them!” He pretended to pull my boobs off of my chest. By then I was simultaneously laughing and shuddering.

At which point the Boy leaned in and whispered, “Do you want a dildo?”

I’m still not sure I’ve forgiven him for that.